Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Get it right

I was sitting here thinking that I should write a blog.  So of course, nothing would come to me. I want so badly to be witty and interesting!  I was also listening to music, thanks to Twin and my birthday Itunes giftcard.  I happen to be a big Gleek so I downloaded a couple of songs from the show.  One of their original songs came on. It's called Get it Right.  I'm sure it's not a groundbreaking piece of song writing, but I like it and it does speak to me.

In life, I consider myself something of a fixer.  When there is an issue or someone is upset about something, I want to fix it.  Sometimes I desperately want to fix it.  I'm a very sensitive and empathetic person.  I will agonize over how to reply to a post on a forum because I truly can feel a little bit of the pain on that girl that just had a miscarriage or got another big fat negative pregnancy test.  When a friend loses someone or has to deal with something, I cry with them.  I cry with TV.  

All that aside, I don't usually feel like I have done enough.  I am (here comes a cliche) my own worst critic.  I think most people probably are.  I've never had very high self-esteem.  So here is my song of the day...

Get It Right lyrics

What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

 [| From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/g/glee-cast-lyrics/get-it-right-lyrics.html |]

Saturday, May 14, 2011

My Girls

Today I had lunch with my girls!  I have several really great friends and these three in particular form a tight knit group.  Here's your cast of characters:

Pam-I've known her the longest, we went to school together from kindergarten through high school.  Her dad and my mom also went to high school together.  Pam and I have been friends for almost 25 years, making her my oldest friend (outside of family).

Gabby-Gabby and I met in the 8th grade at an event for junior high students at the high school we would later attend.  We were both performing in the vocal division and we chatted outside and then ate lunch together.  We've been friends ever since!

Mandy-Mandy and I met in high school, through I can't be sure if we met in freshman year or not. I know we became friends later on.  See, we both had a crush on the same guy.  I ended up dating him for six months before he switched schools and sort of started ignoring me, then I dumped him.  She was very close friends with him throughout this, so she wasn't really a fan of mine :)  Later on, we did become friends and bonded over the romances that never really were.

We've always been a group.  This was really solidified in 12th grade British Literature class which was taught by one of my favorite teachers of all time, Mrs. Redding.  She split our class up into groups of four to work on projects (most notably, a comic book based on Beowulf).  Pam, Gabby, and Mandy were in a group with another friend of ours, but I was in a different group.  Their group was called "The Great Group of Gals".  I was an honorary member.  We've even gotten together a few times with our teacher since high school and to her, we'll always be the GGG.

Since high school, we've led more separate lives, but we have remained close.  Gabby and I went to the same college, but Mandy and Pam went elsewhere, but still in town.  We have always gotten the group together from time to time, celebrating birthdays or holidays, and more recently weddings and babies!

Which leads me to the following explanation of the pairing off of the Great Group of Gals.

In the spring of 2002, Gabby met Patrick.  The story goes that she met a guy on the internet and met Patrick through him (something like that, anyway).  They are pretty much perfect for each other.  That summer, in July, Gabby called me up to see if I might be interested in meeting a guy, a friend of Pat's.  I jumped at the chance, having been single for quite awhile.  So I was set up on a blind date.  And my blind date didn't know he was meeting me until 20 minutes before we met.  They only told him because he looked scruffy and they made him change!  That blind date changed my life.  It was on that date that I met my husband Adam.  We were engaged a year later and married the very next year.

Some time later, Gabby decided to try her match making skills for a second time. This time the lucky victim was Mandy. Mandy is a reptile enthusiast and Gabby just happened to know another!  She connected Mandy with Nate.  They've been together ever since and they will be married in August!

Fast forward to the summer of 2010.  On the Fourth of July, Pam spent some time with another friend of Gabby and Pat's, a guy named Cliff.  They had met at other G&P functions, but last years Fourth of July sealed the deal and they've been a couple since then and are going strong!

This is us on the night of our 10th high school reunion.  I'm on the left, followed by Mandy, Pam, and Gabby.

Pretty unbelievable story, huh?  It pays to stay in touch with those high school girlfriends!  I love these girls!  They are all so funny and we have the best time laughing together.  Pam is so kind and sincere.  Mandy is fun-loving and feisty.  And Gabby is sensitive and sweet.  They are some of the best friends a girl could ask for!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

RIP Sammy

Sadly today I must report a death.  My dear smartphone (since dubbed Sam.  I felt he deserved a name in his passing) died a terrible death in the parking lot outside my office this morning.  I dropped him.  I feel so terrible.  I used to carry my phone in my pocket but my new fancy phone has a touch screen and I sometimes carried it in my hand. I exited my car, juggling a bag, purse, keys and phone and which item do I drop?  Sammy.  I stopped and said "Man I am going to have to be so much more careful with this thing, totally thinking it was going to be fine or maybe slightly scratched.  It was face down, so I flipped it over and the screen was totally shattered.  &%$@  I totally almost bought a case this weekend too, which might have helped my phone to be not completely destroyed, but the saleslady was a bitch.  I picked up one and wanted to see how my phone would look with it on. It was at a little kiosk in the mall, so the packages pop right open so you can do just that.  I put in part way on and started to take it off again and she snapped at me that I was going to break it and snatched it (with my phone) out of my hands. She removed the case, put it back in the package and hung it back up.  I was like, "okay I was going to buy that but since you obviously don't care to sell it to me...."  So this was a totally senseless tragedy. Here is what the little scene looked like:

This image is inspired by the genius that is Ali and her blog http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/.  I hope this doesn't come off as copying her.  It's a FABULOUS blog and you should ALL check it out.  All 5 of my readers LOL

Anyway, my phone is toast.  And I, being brain dead, did not purchase the insurance policy.  It is my first smart phone and I have only had it 3 weeks.  It still rings, but the screen is shattered.  So very sad.  And even sadder, I had to purchase a new phone at full retail price or refurbished price.  So I will not be replacing this phone with the same model.  I'm getting an older one and my mom is going to take it, then I'm going to take hers (it's just like mine).  She doesn't want or need so many features so she wants to trade.

Isn't that a sad story?  Do you know what is also sad? I'm going through serious withdrawl.  I haven't been without a working cell phone since I was 18.

Goodbye Sammy. We had some good times together...Activation, the time we spent in the marketplace, our Angry Birds rendezvous...you will be missed.  At least until my new one comes and I forget how much I had to spend to fix this.  RIP Sammy.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Mom's the word

So yesterday was Mother's Day. It's a happy day for me, ultimately, as I am Mommy to a wonderful adorable little boy that I lovelovelove to pieces!  And it was an improvement over last year. This year Tyler just had a nasty cold thing I had last week.  Last year he spent the day throwing up on me.  Strawberry flavored vomit *shudder*  He was totally into talking about how it was Mother's Day AND Gaga (my mom)'s birthday. He didn't approve of the cheesecake in place of a birthday cake though.  "He" gave me a beautiful purple butterfly necklace...because I pointed it out to daddy.  lol

Only now that it's over do I have time for a tiny bit of sadness.  My SIL had a miscarriage last week.  I think miscarriage ranks very high on my list of most horrible things that can happen.  My SIL has had 3 altogether and 2 in a row.  Yesterday must have been extremely hard for her.

And yes, I'm a little sad for me, because I want another baby so much.  I take part in a forum for Mommy's trying to conceive and I see so many women like me who struggle to get pregnant, or to come to grips with miscarriages.  I just read a story about a British actress that had a miscarriage and she was due in August.  She must have been more than 6 months pregnant, how awful to lose a baby that late in a pregnancy.  I consider myself lucky not to have had to go through that.  Maybe I'm selfish to be sad that I haven't managed to conceive yet.  We've been trying for 9 months or so, but some women try for years.  It could be much worse.

So today, I chose to be thankful for the child I have.  It would be enough even if I never manage to conceive another baby.  He's my pride and joy and I couldn't love him more.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Another year older

I am officially 29 years old as of yesterday.  On the one hand, I don't have any major hang ups about getting older or closer to 30 or whatever.  On the other hand, a part of who I have always been is "young". Does that make any sense?  I've been the young one at work for five years, but now there are younger people.  My son is 2, I have been married almost 7 years.  I'm feeling the affects of adulthood for sure. That's not a negative comment, just something rolling around in my head.  I've had to be pretty mature for my age in a lot of ways, again, not a negative thing.  It's who I am.  So here's to another year older, and hopefully wiser, and many more!

Oh and also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWIN!  I love you and I wouldn't be me if not for you!