Monday, December 9, 2013

Still alive!

I'm still here, still alive!  When I get quiet here it generally means that I am terribly busy at work and do NOT feel like touching my computer at night!  Literally it's basically workout, shower and zone out for what little time is left before bed!  I got the first HUGE project done late last week, so hopefully I'm over the hump, so to speak!  Anyway, up next, I plan to do a special post about our family Christmas tree that we put up yesterday, complete with pictures of some of my favorite ornaments!  Tyler was looking at them this morning and asking about each one, and since most of them are special and have been around a long time, I thought I'd write up a little post about them!

So that'll be up soon--I hope!

In the meantime, things are good, busy busy!  Thanksgiving was good (did I write about that?), the kids are good, still on track with working out--31 lbs down!!  I've decided I REALLY want to win the work challenge, because I need the money for new CLOTHES!  Nothing fits!  LOL good problem to have :)

More soon!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Two truths and a lie

Oops, I guess I left you hanging there! I'm sure the suspense was killing you.  So here it is: number one is the lie! But just barely! I really did break a bone just before the start of the fourth grade. But it was my arm, not my ankle!  I really did sell jewelry for awhile, for a direct sales company called Lia Sophia. And I did appear in a commercial too, when they filmed one at the ice skating rink where I took lessons. I don't know of anyone could tell it was me, but I knew!  That was fun, thanks for guessing ladies!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Two Truths and a Lie

Jenny at Dogs Aren't Kids posted this on her blog today, I thought it was fun and she tagged me (well, everyone) so I'm going to do it too! 

If you are reading this, you have to do it. I tagged you. Those are the rules.
Tell us 3 things about you and make 1 of them a lie. Try to think about what other bloggers already know about you, what might shock them and what they don’t know and would simply not being able to guess which one is a lie.
Here are mine.
1. I broke my ankle when I was 9, just days before 4th grade started
2.  I used to have a job selling jewelry.
3. I appeared in a local commercial when I was a teenager
Comment below with which one you think is a lie.
Make a new post on your blog and do the same.
After you get a bunch of guesses (or whenever you feel like), make a new post with the right/wrong answers and explain them if you want.

Monday, November 18, 2013

An interview with...ME!

Lisa over at Amateur Nester has started a new blog series called "On the Journey with..." and she just published her interview with ME!  I don't pretend to have had the most harrowing infertility journey, but I think every story can be related to, so I was flattered the Lisa was interested in sharing it.  Go check it out HERE and follow her blog!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Tricky Treating

What I consider to be first of the triple-threat holiday season (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas) has come and gone!  Halloween was somewhat eventful, as for the first time in my life (to my recollection, anyway) trick-or-treating was postponed here in Central Indiana.

All week, they had been discussing the possibility of strong storms on Thursday night with very high winds.  I kept an eye on the forecast and came up with two "back up" plans.  The first was to take the kids to trick or treat at the local mall. That would involve leaving work early, as the hours were from 4-6.  We also would only attend that event if it was raining, but not REALLY storming (not dangerous to be out in the weather).  The second was Halloween cookie baking and "mini trick or treating" to my mom and sister for Tyler.

After some initial hesitation, the city officials did postpone trick or treating to Friday and so we stayed home and did option 2 (good thing too, they postponed the mall trick or treat as well).  Tyler didn't seem to phased by the whole thing and I was very glad we were able to stay in.  The wind was CRAZY!  My little guys would have blown away out there! 

At our local orchard/pumpkin patch-My two little pumpkins and their pumpkins!
 My mom snagged these awesome (and EASY) pumpkin decorations!  No carving required!
Side 1-SCARY!
Side 2-Silly!

Fat Bat!

And finally, my adorable little Treats!

Silly and Sweet Spongebob!

My little Monster!

AJ loved bopping along in his stroller!  Bonus-a place to dump Tyler's extra loot!

Tyler had a BLAST and was a HUGE hit! 
 Everyone loved Tyler as Spongebob and he was on cloud nine, losing his mind over getting Smarties and pointing out the costumes of all the other kids.  "Mommy, there's a BANANA!"  He didn't want to stop!  Finally after about an hour and half he was tired and we'd just about hit every house with their lights on in the neighborhood, so we headed home to give out candy for a little while. 

I have done a fairly decent job at resisting the Halloween candy, sticking to just a piece or so here and there.  The last week or so I slacked a little bit on food choices and tracking, but I still hit my workouts pretty well. I am back on tracking now and stepped up my elliptical workouts to include hand weights, so that's been a new challenge.  Although I didn't post a loss from last week, we did have first weight in for the weight loss challenge at work (not sure if I mentioned this or not) and I am in SECOND PLACE!  I posted a 7% loss.  The guy in first is at 9% and we are followed by a three way tie at 5%.  I was really surprised and happy to see that result, maybe I do have a shot at a little monetary kickback!  We'll see! 

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Where'd he go?

You guys, where did this little baby go?

I swear, he was just here.  But it seems as though this big guy has taken his place. 

Don't mind the drool
He's ONE, already!  I can't even believe it, it doesn't seem possible.  I still haven't turned my mind completely off from all those months of trying to conceive him, and yet here he is, a babbling, toddling little (big) guy.

I'm a little late on this post, delayed by the remembrance day post and, well LIFE in general being super busy.  AJ turned one on October 12th.  On his birthday, my sisters came over and we did a small dinner with cake and presents.  Little man was having way too much fun and went to bed quite late!  He enjoyed smashing some chocolate cake, and let us give him a few bites as well.

Sunday afternoon, we lucked out with amazing weather.  We invited over our immediate family and had a barbeque with hamburgers, hot dogs, salad, au gratin potatoes, and pasta, plus cupcakes for dessert.  Everyone hung out on our patio and in the yard and we put out our corn hole set (you might have to be from the midwest to know what that is!) and some balls and frisbees.  I think everyone had a good time and AJ seemed to enjoy himself in the playyard and being passed around, despite his cold.

Presents?!  My smiley boy

Going for the covert nose-wipe. He hates it.
It all went off without a hitch. The food was good, everyone made it and we celebrated my little booger turning one, amazing!

He also had his check up last week.  My "little" guy is 23 lbs 13 oz and 32 1/2 inches long! That puts him in the 85% for weight and the 95% for height!  We're having some struggles with solids (non-baby foods) because his gag reflex seems a little strong.  He's doing okay with some new stuff, but so far he absolutely does NOT get the idea that he can pick up food and feed himself.  He won't do it!  I'm hoping he gets the idea soon.  Couple that with no more formula (YAY!  Saves $45 per week!) and starting the transition to a sippy cup, plus working through sleep training issues and there are a lot of changes going on in the life of AJ!  But he's doing great and we love him!

Aside from that, we're dealing with some car drama I'm not really feeling like getting into just now (except to say I do NOT recommend Ray Skillman's auto group anymore).  Tyler is doing pretty well, recovering from his own cold and maybe a tummy bug as well.  I have finally succumbed to the cold myself, after fighting not to come down with it for over a week (everyone else had it).

Still doing pretty well on the fitness front.  Today's weight it officially placed me at 24 lbs lost, which is over 10% of my body weight!  WOOT WOOT!  I realized tonight that I have lost an AJ!!  He weighs right at 24 lbs, the amount I have LOST! For some reason, that really blew my mind!  Pretty soon NONE of my clothes are going to fit!  In a GOOD way! :)  Not sure what I'll do about that though!  I finished the Shred and having been doing my elliptical, but I bought a new DVD, Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 that I will try soon (after this blasted cold buggers off).

That's it!  We'll let AJ wrap things up.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Pic of the Week: Remembering Butterfly

I still need to write a post about AJ's first birthday (?!), but first, I'm re-posting something I wrote today on my other blog, Ask An Infertile.

Today is a day put aside in remembrance.  A day to stop everything in our hectic lives and remember the babies we have lost.  It's a day to think of the sweet babies that were taken too soon, the pregnancies that ended before their time, and the angels born asleep.

Like Rachel, my loss took the form of an early miscarriage (I share her hatred for the term "chemical pregnancy").  My husband and I had been trying for over a year to conceive our second child.  My doctor was just getting ready to refer me to a reproductive endocrinologist.  We were trying one last month on our own.

A good friend of mine in the TTC community had just found out she was pregnant with her second child.  We'd "met" on an online forum and discovered that not only did we live in the same town, but that our children were born just two days apart.  Then we found out that they were born in the same hospital AND her mother had been my nurse!  We had talked for months about how great it would be to be pregnant together, to be "due date buddies".  When she got her BFP, I wanted so badly to follow her!  My TWW crept along.  I took a test and didn't see anything.  I posted a picture online (do all TTCers take pictures of their peesticks?  It's not just me, right?) and a few people with much better eyesight than I have been blessed with thought they saw a little something.

The next morning, I tested again.  This time I could see it too!  It was very faint, but it was positive!  My husband and I were over the moon!  It was the day before Father's Day and we were ecstatic to receive such a gift!  My friend and I were going to have both children the same age and we couldn't have been happier!

But that happiness, that heavenly feeling, was short-lived.

The day after my BFP, I took another test and was pleased to see a darker line, but disappointed that my digital test was negative.  I reminded myself that digital tests aren't a sensitive, it was probably just too early.  That afternoon, I noticed a tiny bit of spotting when I used the restroom.  I was nervous immediately, but I kept telling myself that bleeding isn't uncommon in the first trimester.  I reached out to my friend, who said the same thing.  It would be okay. It just had to be okay.

The next morning, I didn't take a test.  Maybe part of me just didn't want to know.  I felt alright, I was even having some symptoms already, and I hadn't had any more spotting overnight.  I went to work and started looking for an OB.  I called and made an appointment, even chatting anxiously with the nurse about how I'd had a little spotting and was just so nervous and excited.  She reassured me that it's normal, it's probably nothing, don't worry unless it's heavy or accompanied by cramping.

Monday afternoon I noticed a little more spotting.  By Tuesday morning I couldn't avoid it any longer, I took another test and my heart sank.  The line was light, extremely light.  I took another test, but got the same result.  In complete denial, I decided maybe they were a bad batch of tests, so I took my last remaining test, a digital.  Negative.  Tears immediately sprang to my eyes, but I pushed them back.  I picked up my phone and called into work, then called the OBs office where I'd scheduled an appointment. They agree to have me come in for a blood test.  The day seemed to go in slow motion.  Drive to the doctor's office.  Don't look at the pregnant bellies.  Don't look at the adorable toddlers and infants in the waiting room.  Go to the lab.  Have blood drawn.  Go home. Put feet up. Drink water.  Ignore the cramping.  Don't think about the bleeding--it's bleeding now, not just spotting.  Go online, read message of support from my friends--Don't give up!  It's not over!  Go to bed to escape.

The next morning, I texted my boss telling him I'd be late.  I waited for a call, but I didn't make it very far before I cracked and called to beg for my results, even though I already knew.

"We got your test results in.  You were never pregnant. Your HCG level was only 3.  If you had been pregnant, it would still be higher."

 I couldn't even think.  I saw those perfect pink lines.  I felt the symptoms, the breast tenderness, the gas, I FELT PREGNANT.  She had to be wrong.

I realized later that she was.  It was a callous thing to say, and obviously not true.  False negative pregnancy tests aren't possible.  She only managed to make me feel worse as I dissolved into tears at a loss she didn't even recognize.

I told my husband and my mother.  I cried.  I told my son, who wasn't quite 2 1/2, but knew mommy had a baby in her belly and knew mommy was sad.  I cried.  I got up, got dressed, drove to work.  I cried.  I told my boss.  I cried.  I worked, desperate to concentrate on anything else.  I cried any time anyone asked how I was.  They didn't know, but I cried, so I had to explain. As the hours and days went on, I found that sharing helped. I ended up sharing my loss with more people than I'd been able to share my joy with.

Many people probably didn't understand my grief. I had only known I was pregnant for four days.  But I wanted a baby so badly, and as soon as I saw those two pink lines I wanted THAT baby.  I was devastated that I would never know my baby, never get to see my baby grow and learn.  My heart broke to think I'd never hold that baby in my arms. 

Since I didn't know if my baby was a boy or a girl, I've always simply thought of him or her as Butterfly.  I've always adored butterflies and they've always held a great deal of significance to me.  I felt like this beautiful little spirit flitted into my life for such a breif time, and since butterflies are thought to only live a short time, it seems fitting.

So tonight at 7:00 pm, I lit a candle for all the sweet babies lost too soon.  And I lit another one for my Butterfly.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Okay, I might be biased

But I seriously have SUPER cute kids.  I'm sorry to brag, but it's true.  We finally went for family photos last week and they turned out really great!  I was worried, because AJ was not really into it. He wasn't fussy, just kind of "what is going on?".  They got enough smiles out of him though!  We hadn't had pictures done in YEARS and no professional ones of AJ (Bad mommy!), so I was really excited about it!  Here are a few of my favorites!

They KILLED me with these hats!


Yeah, AJ was a bit over it by this point.

Also, my baby is turning ONE on Saturday!  I really can't even think about that right now!

In other news, I'm 2 days away from finishing the Shred!  I should be on my last day, but I had a rough week last week and took 2 days off exercise.  I was stressed and (ahem) hormonal and I took a "break".  I still tracked some, but I knowingly went over a couple of days, leading to a small gain this week.  But it's okay.  I will not be defeated by a bump in the road.  I want to be healthy and that takes time.  So I'm set to finish the shred on Thursday.  This may or may not happen, because Thursday is a TV night I cannot miss.  Twin and I will be having a sob-fest over the Cory Monteith tribute episode of Glee.  I'll do my workout before if I have time, but if not, I will finish it up Friday and I'm okay with that.  I'm still considering what I'll do next, probably a mixture of shred days (or another workout DVD) and elliptical training.  I'm really loving the muscles I've developed from the circuit training.  I have BICEPS!  Really!  They are totally solid and everything!  I saw a DVD produced by Dancing with the Stars and it sounded really fun, but it's a longer workout, an hour.  The shred is 25 minutes and fits much more easily into my day.  So we'll see.  I really want to be back down and hopefully to my 20 lbs lost by next Monday, so I have work to do!  I've been good about food so far this week, staying on track, so fingers crossed!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

A Ray of Sunshine!

Sweet Teresa at Where the *Bleep* is Our Stork nominated me for the Sunshine Award!  The award goes to those writers who's posts brighten the days of fellow bloggers/readersAw, I am truly humbled! Thanks Teresa!!!  You're awesome!

Here are the rules:
1. Include the Sunshine Award icon in your post.
2. Link to the person who nominated you.
3. Answer 10 questions about yourself.
4. Nominate 10 bloggers to receive the award
5. Link your nominees and let them know they've been nominated.

Here are Teresa's questions:

1. Shaken or stirred? LOL Well I've never had a martini, but just based on gut reaction, I'll go with stirred.  It sounds more gentle than shaken.

2.  What is the greatest movie from the past year?  Hmm that's hard.  Was the Hunger Games in the past year?  I think so. I'll go with that.  Loved the books.

3.  Would you ever consider writing your own book?  Well, if you've read my blog,  you probably know the answer to that.  I can, I have, I am!  I actually wrote a pretty complete "novel", a fiction piece of questionable quality lol. I tend to be very dramatic in my writing, very life and death, etc.  Anyway it's probably crap and I will probably never do anything with it.  However, it's definitely a goal of mine to write something worth trying to get published and I have started an idea for a book of infertility stories.  I don't have much time to work on it these days, but it's still something I'm planning on getting back to.

4.  Would you rather have a dog's ears or hawks eyes?  Hmm good question!  Noises tend to distract me and my eyesight is terrible, so I'll say a hawks eyes. :)

5.  What is your favorite season and why?  Right now!  The Fall is my favorite.  I love the colors, I love the cool weather, I love how it smells, I just love everything about it!

6.  Have you ever hated loving someone?  You know what, I don't think so.  Even when it hurt, even when I knew I shouldn't, no, I don't think so.   I am a strong believer in being true to yourself and your feelings, that feelings are justified.  There were times that I knew it wasn't healthy, wasn't best for me to love the person I loved, but I either accepted that and dealt with it, or worked toward moving on.

7.  Do you have any strange habits?  Yes, doesn't everyone?  LOL  I'm actually doing mine right now.  When I am writing or typing, I have a habit of holding my mouth funny.  It's hard to describe, sometimes I'm kind of biting my lip, sometime I'm sort of tucking in my lip.  I'm not sure why I do it, but I know I look pretty dopey, so yeah, that's fun.

8.  Why do people say laughter is the best medicine?  Because if you can laugh, nothing is too bad!  Nothing is better than the feeling right after you've laughed so hard your sides ached or your eyes are watering.  Sick or hurt, sad or depressed, laughing will make you feel better, make things not seem so bad, even if just for a moment.

9.  What do you think is the color for happiness? me, happiness is warm, so I'd say something like a warm yellow or orange, like a sunset or like candlelight.

10.  What will you teach your children?  (what values, beliefs, hobbies, skills, etc)  I hope to teach my kids many things.  I want to teach them to be kind and try hard at everything they do.  I want to teach them to be respectful and honest.  I would love to work with them on any number of hobbies and skills.  I'm not very sporty, but I will do my best to teach them the basics and nurture that in them if they choose.  I hope to teach them to like to read and learn about new things, to not be afraid to try things, to enjoy music and being outside and oh so many things!

Great questions Teresa!!

Okay, so here are my nominees!  Some of these ladies are really in the trenches of infertility.  However, they always manage to hold on to hope, or to make me and all of their readers laugh at their ever-present humor, or to find joy in the little things in life.  I love reading their blogs, and so many more than are listed here.

1.  Rach at A Little Bit More
2.  Mrs E. at TTCBabyE3
3.  Stacy at Dancing My Way Through Love, Life and Books
4.  Tasha at Frozen OJ
5.  Hope at A Crack In Everything
6.  KelBel at Tales from Our Yellow Brick Road
7.  May at Nuts In May
8.  Liz at Wishing on a Snowflake
9.  Ready for My Turn
10.  And I'm going to follow Teresa's lead and leave this spot open for ANYONE!  If you read this, consider yourself nominated!  Be sure to leave a comment so I can read your answers!

Here are my questions!
1.  What is a quote that you live by or one the really resonates with you?
2.  What is your favorite word?
3.  What word or phrase do you overuse?
4.  What is one of your guilty pleasures?  It could be a food, a song, a movie, whatever.
5.  If your life was a movie, what would it be called and who would play you?
6.  You have tomorrow off work and you can do anything!  Money is no object!  What are you going to do?
7.  Your going on a 14 hour flight somewhere.  Name three MUST HAVES in your carry-on.
8.  What is the one thing you want people to remember about you?
9.  You can change your name tomorrow, no hassle. Would you and if so, to what?
10.  Fantasy pet (responsibilities, cost, and all realistic things aside)--What would it be and why?

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Seeing Results

I went ahead and tried level 3 of the 30 Day Shred on Friday.  WHOO It is pretty brutal!  I could definitely tell I was working muscles I haven't been working too much thus far.  I am still pretty darn sore, especially in the backs of my legs and my gluts.  I kept watching her demonstrate the moves and I would think to myself, "No way can I do that!"  Then I'd try it and I could!  There was only one move I just can't do successfully--RockStar jumps.  Basically, you jump straight up and kick your feet back behind you.  For some reason, that just KILLS my knees.  So I modify it, still doing a jump, but small keeping my feet under me.

Sunday my mom remarked that you could really tell that I'm trimming down, especially in my upper tummy.  It made me so happy to hear that! Then Monday at work, a coworker of mine that doesn't come into the office very often also remarked that I was "looking great" and he could tell I was losing weight!  SQUEE!! LOL  Monday's weight in has me down 19.2 lbs--SOOOO close to 20 now and really close to my next big weight goal!

Weekends can be a real challenge for me food wise, since we tend to eat out a time or two and I sometimes don't get a chance to track my intake until later.  Saturday I did well, get a burger at lunch, but only eating half of it and having a salad on the side.  My sister was with me and we did get some frozen yogurt later, but I kept my portion pretty small and it was easy to track the calories since you pay by weight.  We ran errands and I picked up a few things for AJ's birthday party (my baby will be 1 in less than TWO WEEKS!?).

When we got home, I was getting the kids out of the car when a pretty, reddish golden retriever walked up to us.  Luckily, she was wearing a collar with tags.  I put her in the backyard so she wouldn't wander away and once we got the kids settled, I got the phone number off the tags and called it. The number was for a service that helps reunite pet owners with their pets.  I gave the lady the ID number and name on the tags--Molly.  She tried to call the owners, but got no answer, so she gave me the owner's name, phone number, and address.  I immediately recognized the street name, she hadn't wandered far!  I called and spoke to her owner, an older lady and offered to walk Molly home.  She was grateful--she hadn't realized Molly was gone! Apparently they had some workers at the house, so things were loud and chaotic and she'd thought the dog was downstairs with her son.  Also, apparently this sort of thing was Molly's "one fault"--I guess she's done this before!  Tyler thought the whole thing was a great adventure, although I think he would have liked Molly to have stayed a while longer to play!

Pretty Molly and silly Tyler-Man

Sunday I made a diet boo boo.  We went to a picnic my dad's work was holding and we stopped to get Tyler a Happy Meal on the way, knowing he wouldn't eat there.  Adam got a cheeseburger and asked if I wanted one.  Thinking I might not eat much at the picnic and that a single cheeseburger wasn't too high in calories, I said yes.  I didn't immediately plug it into MFP and later I forgot all about it!  It wasn't until I was adding up my calories before dinner that Adam reminded me.  OOPS!  Well, luckily this was before dinner, so I was able to adjust a little bit, but I still went into my exercise calories more than I would have liked.  Lessons learned:  EVERYTHING at McDonald's is high in calories and track them when you eat them! 

The picnic was at a park, and it was drizzling all day.  We'd thought they would move it to an indoor location, but the joke was on us!  (Another lesson learned--bring extra clothes just in case!  I had to run across the street to Kmart to get the kids sweats so they wouldn't freeze!)  The owner of the string of dealerships my dad works for throws quite an event, giving away gifts to all the employees and all the children who come. Tyler was thrilled to chose a motorized Thomas the Train set and we chose a ball-launching toy that unfortunately seems to scare AJ.  He likes the balls, batting them around on the floor like a cat, but he doesn't care for the noise and the launching.

I did not work out Monday.  I was kind of bummed about it, and it makes me nervous in a weird way, like worried I won't get back into it.  We had to drop the van off at the dealership and by the time we got home it was after nine and I was supremely cranky.  Ah well, no rule says the 30 Day Shred can't be completed in 31 Days!  9 more days and I will have completed it!  I really think I'm going to make it this time!

OH!  One more thing to add!  AJ took his first steps on Monday!  GO AJ!!

Friday, September 27, 2013

Progress report

So I figured it was time for a little check in on how my fitness journey is going!  I'm actually really proud of myself, I have been NEVER worked so hard at it before.  I put my "start date" as July 11th. That was the day I did my first real workout.  That was 11 weeks and 2 days ago.  In the time (as of Monday), I lost 15.8 lbs.  I don't want to jinx myself, but I have had a few peeks at the scale this week, and I'm going to be posting a pretty big number next week, as long as something crazy doesn't happen!  My day to day body is unpredictable, so I'm really hoping it sticks around, because I am getting SUPER close to 20 lbs lost and SUPER close to under a big number I've been dying to get to!  I've also lost over 7% of my total weight, which is pretty astounding to me!  I still have a long way to go, but I'm feeling really good about everything I've done so far!  I even bought two new pairs of pants in the last couple weeks in A SMALLER SIZE!  :) That felt really good, let me tell you!  My clothes are really getting baggy!

I thought I'd put together a list of a few things that are really working for me:

Basic meal notes:
  • Breakfast-I usually eat pretty light in the morning and I seem to strive to keep this meal pretty low cal since it's the easiest opportunity for me to save some calories for later.  I discovered a fruit crisp from Special K that I really like, although it's sort of high in sugar, but only 100 calories. They are my go to if I am running late.  I've also been eating a lot of cereal, namely cheerios (100 calories), Special K (their Cinnamon Pecan is really good and only 110 calories per serving and I think I'm going to try the chocolate strawberry next--TIP you really have to watch out for the serving size, some cereals have a service size of 3/4 of a cup, most people pour quite a bit more than that), or cinnamon chex (120 calories). I don't like milk in the morning, it tends to make me sick to my stomach if I drink much, so I don't drink what's left in the bowl.  Occasionally I'll have a low cal english muffin or a skinny bagel with half a wedge of laugh cow cream cheese. I've experimented a little with eggs and egg beaters, but I haven't found anything I really cared for yet.  I usually drink water, but occasionally I will have a small glass (about 6 oz for 35 calories) of low sugar OJ.
  • Lunch-Varies pretty widely.  I try to have something fairly simple to put together, pre-made tuna or egg salad for a sandwich, along with veggies or a salad, some fruit (usually I end up eating it for a snack later), and maybe a low sugar jello (10 calories and a nice little sweet).  I usually allow myself a Diet Pepsi with lunch also.
  • Dinner-This one totally depends on the family. Since I don't do the cooking and I have two other adults to think about, eliminating something is impossible.  I do my best with portion control and make small changes like for-going a bun.
General notes
  • I'm definitely eating more Fresh veggies--these are the ultimate in snacks.  I have a hard time keeping my meal calories down enough to allow for a lot of snacks, so veggies are PERFECT for me.  Most veggies and a few fruits are really low in calories.  I eat tons of salad (romaine or iceberg lettuce, combined with carrot slivers, celery, cauliflower, and tomatoes) (approx 30 calories for 1 cup).  I pack little baggies of celery (6 calories per stalk), carrot sticks (about 50 calories per cup), radish slices (20 calories for 4 large radishes), and cucumber slices (15 calories per cup).  I made my own Pico de gallo to go with tacos and chips (carefully counted out serving of taco chips)(35 calories for 3/4 cup-I just use tomatoes, onion, cilantro, lemon juice and a dash of salt).  I also love little microwavable veggie sides like broccoli with cheese sauce for 40 calories. I know it's processed, but it's still better than chips or something to go with lunch.
  • I love fruit, but it's typically a tiny bit higher cal than veggies and comes with extra sugar, something My Fitness Pal is showing me that I struggle with.  Here are a few of my favorites:  Watermelon (40 calories per 1 cup), Braeburn Apple (70 calories, medium), clemintine (35 calories), strawberries (10 calories per berry), grapes (62 calories for 1 cup).  I cut up a couple of strawberries to add to cheerios instead of sugar or munch on watermelon for dessert after a workout.
  • Another slightly more splurgy snack (not really nutritious) 100 cal popcorn.  Pop Secrets home style popcorn-I eat it for a snack or with a sandwich at lunch. You get a decent sized bag and it's great!
  • Bread.  I love bread, but I've found that regular old bread isn't something I can't live without.  I've switched over to a whole grain white low cal bread (35 calories per slice) for when I want a sandwich (I make up fairly low cal tuna or egg salad), but for burgers or hot dogs, I've typically been going sans bun altogether!
  • Breakfast-I usually eat pretty light in the morning and I seem to strive to keep this meal pretty low cal
  • Working out--right now, I'm on day 19 of the 30 Day Shred. It's about time to think about attempting level 3 and I'm a little nervous about that!  I'm determined to complete the challenge this time! 11 more days!  Once I'm finished, I'm considering a few options, either combining a few days a week of the shred with a few days of elliptical or I might pick up another workout DVD.  Not quite sure yet.  But workouts will still be a part of just about every day!
  • I'm also trying to get in at least 1 brisk 15 or so minute walk per day at work.  My pedometer says a quick lap is worth over 1000 steps I think it's a small thing I can do so that my metabolism isn't too slow during the day, since my workouts are pretty much always late at night, which I know isn't great.
Two and a half months and going strong!  I am really doing this!

Monday, September 23, 2013


 LOL this is totally random, but I got a new live wallpaper recently for my phone and I'm obsessed! It's called Happy Sky Live Wallpaper.  It changes based on what time of day it is!  It also seems to possibly change with the weather?  I'm not sure it registers storms or rain, but it does seem to get if it's a cloudy day or not!  They are totally out of order because I had to upload from my phone and I just grabbed captures whenever I noticed them.  They were different each day even at the same time of day.  Check out some of these screenshots! 

Purple Sunset! 6:10 AM

Moody evening clouds! 7:50 pm
Check out the rainbow! 6:09AM
Puffy cloud perfection! 7:41 am
Check out those sun set colors! 5:01 pm
Believe it or not, this was during the day. 3:45 pm
Yellow sunset 5:05 pm
Gorgeous sun rise! 5:02 pm
Evening 8:39 PM
One of my faves, sunrise 7:18 am
Cloudy evening 6:56 PM
Starry night 7:37 pm
A different evening, 7:40 pm, cloudy that day
Gorgeous sunset 5:40 pm
Good morning!  7:33 am

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

And away he goes!!!

Yep, he is pulling up and standing. And stepping around things.  I think it's a pretty safe bet that we'll have first steps soon, maybe even in days. Yikes!

I hope everyone had a great long weekend!  I did!  Friday, I had a girls night with my high school friends Gabby, Mandy and Pam. We had dinner, did some shopping and got frozen yogurt (how did I not know about Orange Leaf???).  I love spending time with them!  

Saturday I had lunch with my BFF from college, Kelly.  We went to Cheesecake factory for some yummy pizza and AMAZING Smore cheesecake.  OMG it was so good!  We laughed sooooo much, she is hilarious!  AND we set a "date" for our next lunch so as to squeeze it into busy schedules in the upcoming months!  YAY!

Sunday was groceries and cleaning and organizing toys.  Monday we did some shopping and had lunch at Fazolis.  Did you know they have DOUGHNUTS?  OMG amazing!

So I splurged a little bit on food this past week, but I was on point with exercising 6 days out of the week.  I was happy with that and I lost .4 lbs.  I think I know why it wasn't more too...a certain monthly visitor showed her face today :-P  But I'm feeling good!  The workouts are going well, I'm pushing myself in new little ways and it's really a routine for me now, I rarely struggle with sitting around saying oh I don't want to do my workout.  12.8 lbs down!

And just a reminder, I have a new blog!  Ask An Infertile already has 5 contributors!  It's already a great team!  But we're always looking for more involvement and we are definitely look for readers and feedback!  Stop by and tell us what YOU want to read about!!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Pic of the week: By chance

Tonight while mom and I were getting ready to make dinner, I glanced out the back door. I saw what I thought was a green plastic sack stuck in the frame of our swing. It was pretty large to be a plastic bag and it seemed to have a round opening in it. Mom and I went out to see what it was.

It was a paper balloon, made if something like tissue paper. Its round and open at the bottom. Mom.thinks they are made with something you can light in fire in the opening, like a hot air balloon, so it becomes a floating lantern. On it, written in black marker, it says "In memory of Michael Aaron Roddy 5-31-76 7-18-13 #1 Love Ya Always". What a beautiful thing to find, what a nice tribute.

I went online and found his obituary. It was just the basic one, with birth and death dates and funeral information. So I googled his name and found him listed on the funeral homes website. There was a place to sign a guestbook so I left them a note saying I'd found it.

I feel honored, somehow.  Even though it was just chance that made it land in my yard, I feel honored. Rest in peace Michael Roddy.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Living Healthier Living

I've been making getting healthier a priority for almost two months now.  It's definitely challenging, but I know it will be worth it!  For the longest time, I have had nothing but excuses when it comes this subject.  I don't have time to exercise, I'm too picky to eat healthier, etc etc etc.  But I'm done with that.  So here's a few things I have been doing to get healthy:

Counting calories:  Yeah, I swore I'd never do this!  But I am.  I use My Fitness Pal and keep track of my calories throughout the day. That has meant some serious education about the foods I eat and what is in them!  I was amazed at how many calories can be in foods.  Even something as simple as salad dressing can be packed with calories.  These days, my goal is about 1200 calories.  That seems like next to nothing!  But most days, I do pretty well.  It's meant some pretty serious changes!  This includes buying lower cal and fat foods, cutting out most junk food, eating more fruits and veggies, and drinking more water.

Exercising:  This is a huge one for me.  And really tough.  I'm a working mom to two very active boys.  I have a house that needs cleaned, family and friends to see, errands to run, and much more in the limited "free time" hours.  So for ages, I used that as an excuse.  Now, I fit it in.  Usually, I don't get the chance until after the boys are sleeping, around 8:30 pm.  I know that isn't a great time to work out, but since it's what's available to me right now, I figure it's much much better than nothing!   At first, I just walked. I walked around our neighborhood in the evening.  After that, I jumped into the 30 Day Shred workout DVD.  I really enjoyed it, and completed about 16 days of it before my back issues sidelined me.  When my back started improving, I chose to ease back into my workouts by sticking to my elliptical trainer for awhile.  That's what I've been doing lately.  I plan on starting the Shred over at this point, possibly September 1.

My Elliptical Workout:
0:00-3:00 traditional "ellipticalling" (LOL new word)--I do NOT hold on to the handle bars when going forward.  Instead my arms are bent at the elbows, sort of a power walking motion.
3:00-4:00 biceps w/forward motion.  For this, I take hold of the handle bars and pull them to initiate the forward motion.
4:00-5:00 backward "ellipticalling" This works a different set of muscles, including the gluts.
5:00-6:00 triceps.  Same as biceps, but I push the handle bars instead of pulling them.
After this first set (6 minutes), I ratchet up the resistance.  My machine just has a dial, so I go up about half a turn.
6:00-12:00 Repeat cycle
12:00-15:00 forward
15:00-17:00 backwad
17:00-20:00 forward, lowering the resistance

Deprivation: I avoid this!!  I still eat out, it's just part of my lifestyle.  However, whenever possible, I look up the nutrition information for where I am going ahead of time so I can make a good choice.  I also find that I do better if I know what I am going to be having for dinner, which makes it much easier to budget my calories.  I'm still working on balancing things out so I can allow myself to snack when I am hungry.  I've been finding some great recipes for low cal snacks, like trail mix.  Other favorite meal accompaniments and snacks are watermelon, celery sticks, carrots sticks, raisins, salad with low cal dressing (I'm learning to love vinaigrette) and water with crystal light liquid added to it.  I still eat sweets and snack foods, but in strict moderation.  Last Saturday we went to Baskin Robbins.  Instead of the waffle cone, I opted for a dish and just one small scoop of my favorite flavor.  I followed it up later with a light dinner, making up the calories so I stayed on budget.  MFP allows you the option to eat your exercise calories, but I try my best to avoid that.  I even gave myself a true day off for the state fair, allowing myself to have what i wanted.  I didn't gorge myself, but I did indulge a bit!

I still check my weight more than I probably should, but I like to keep an eye on it.  My official weight in day in Monday, but sneak peeks tell me I have lost more than 10 lbs!  I feel good about that. 

Friday, August 23, 2013

Ask An Infertile

As I've posted here before, while I was TTC AJ, I wrote for a blog on the website Countdown To Pregnancy.  From time to time, I still get comments on my posts.  Sometimes the comments are thanking me for sharing a particular story or experience, sometimes they are wishing me well, and sometimes they are asking questions.  Even though I don't post actively anymore (since I'm not TTC), I still always pop over there and thank them for the comment or respond to their question.  I even wrote a follow up post a few months ago, to thank visitors for reading and let them know that my pregnancy progressed and I delivered a healthy baby.  Today I got a notification email from the site, telling me I had a new comment on a very early post.  I went to the site, read the comment, which was a question from a reader, and respond, both in comment form and by email, checking a few facts as I wrote so I was sure I was giving her the right information.

I always get a little rush when I get one of these comments.  My infertility story wasn't SO dramatic, really.  19 months off ttc, unexplained secondary infertility, an early loss and with the help of fertility medications, a successful pregnancy and delivery of a healthy baby. In terms of infertility, I was one of the "luckier" ones.  So for people to find my story inspiring or for them to appreciate me sharing it or for them to want to ask for my advice...well it truly amazes me.  I love to share what I know about infertility.  I love to advice others about it, to encourage them.  I may not have had to suffer nearly as much as others, but I have read a lot about all forms of infertility.  I don't consider myself an expert, but it's definitely nagged on me for awhile that I would love to do more, be more involved. 

Of course, if you've read here long, you know I've been toying with the idea of writing a book.  That's still something I'm considering and something I have started, but it's definitely in it's infancy right now and in no way a sure thing.  So I got to wondering if there was something else I could try. 

So I've decided I'm taking the plunge.  And I created this:

Ask An Infertile

Maybe I'm crazy.  I know there are TONS of websites, blogs, blogs, forums, etc that deal with this stuff. But there is never enough, is there?  My goal is to gather a team of contributors, specifically woman who have experienced a variety of issues with infertility, ttc, and pregnancy loss, and have them tell their stories and share their wisdom.  Eventually hopefully it will build up to also including answer the questions of readers (researched answers, not just from personal experience).  It will have links and resources and offer advise.

Yikes.  I hope this doesn't completely flop.  I don't have a history of a lot of readers.  I think I have about 25 followers...Hopefully some of you still read!  Spread the word!  And if you or anyone you know would like to contribute, contact me!  Leave a comment here or on the other blog or email me at askaninfertile dot yahoo dot com.

Here I go!  Join me!?

Monday, August 19, 2013

Staycation struggles

Hubby and I took a few days off work last week. We did a LOT of running around!  Here's a rundown, bullet-style:

  • Saturday was errands: Running to the Comcast Xfinity store for a new remote.  Our old one took a dip in Tyler's potty one day, thanks to Gracie knocking it off the couch one day when we hadn't gotten around to emptying it's contents.  Icky.  Then it was off to grab some lunch, then we stopped at the second hand kids clothing store (Once Upon a Child) for some great deals on shorts for both boys and a couple of onesies for AJ and a couple of DVDs for Tyler.  Then we did our usual shopping at Walmart.
  • Sunday was grocery shopping and then my mom and Tyler and I went out looking for shoes for my mom.  She didn't find any that day, but I'm still tempted to go back for a pair of feather light super comfy sketchers I saw at shoe carnival!  
Mom and I loved these!  They were actually really comfy. Anyone know of a pair sans glitz?
  • Sunday afternoon Adam, the boys and I went to Adam's sister's house for her middle's son's 11th birthday party.  He was born just a few months after Adam and I met.  Happy birthday Dagyn!  Tyler had a ton of fun playing with his cousins!
  • Monday, we visited one of Adam's favorites, the Goodwill outlet!  He likes to rummage in the bins and find things to resell on Ebay. And of course Tyler likes to find little odds and ends, especially hot wheels!  Then we went to Walmart and my mom found some shoes and we purchased a much needed swiffer wet jet and a mini vacuum.  Crawling baby means vacuuming much more often!  We had lunch at a buffet and even AJ enjoyed it, eating quite a large portion of mashed up potatoes and carrots and some applesauce!
  • Tuesday we did a little more Goodwill shopping where Adam found some great deals on software and I scored a 4x6 photo printer!  Then we stopped at the cemetary where my sister is buried and put out new flowers (we'd been meaning to do it for months!  We bought everything ages ago, but the weather was bad and then we just kept forgetting!).  Then we took a little picnic lunch to the park and had lunch and let Tyler run and play!
Tyler at the park.  He's not very sure of climbing still.
LOVE this kid!
AJ at the park.  It's a bit sunny for him!
  • Tuesday night my mom watched the boys so Adam and I could go out for a little date night!  We had dinner at our favorite, Texas Roadhouse and then went to see Star Trek: Into Darkness.  BONUS, it was playing at the $1.50 theater!  It was a really good movie, I always like them a lot more than I think I will!  It was nice to have time with my hubby!
  • Wednesday the weather was just perfect, sunny but cooler. We'd reserved it specifically to go to the State Fair.  We had a great time, ate all the great foods, browsed the shops, rode a few rides with Tyler, and my mom and I even got to take a turn in the Lottery's bonus booth, gathering up as many points as possible via flying papers to earn prizes!  It was crazy!  Tyler had a blast and AJ was good too, only really fussing when he was hungry. Love the fair!!!  I can't remember a year when we haven't gone!
You can't really tell, but that's Tyler in there.

  • Thursday-Friday was back to work, where our brand new air conditioner had ceased to work. Again.  Good times.  It's not quite so horrible this time, it seems to be pretending to work just a little bit.
  • Saturday and Sunday were various errands and general cold-induced lying around.
Bathtime for AJ!  Don't mind the mohawk

I was challenged with my calories while I was off. I knew I would be.  The fair day was an official "freebie" day where I didn't really worry about calories at all.  I splurged on date night as well, but I was fairly good the rest of the week, staying in my calorie goal.  I only got in a few workouts because my back was acting up again.  It's finally feeling normal again HUZZAH!  But now, I have the cold of DEATH.  BOO.  My weight in today showed that I was able to maintain my weight exactly, which I'm taking as a win this week.  So for now, I'm down 8.8 lbs.  I will be to the ten pound mark by this time next week, I am determined.  So determined, I allowed myself my 10 pound reward of a little shopping trip on Saturday, since I knew Adam will be working this weekend, so I wouldn't be able to get away.  My favorite clothing store yielded two cute tops, two pairs of earrings, and a necklace :) 

AJ is suddenly a master at crawling and sitting up.  He had us a little worried with his lack of sitting up unassisted and now he does it and is like, "What?  I knew I could do it." 

Forgive me, I'm trying to finish this up on my phone on the way to work
Adam is driving of course
) but
I am feeling distinctly fuzzy-brained. Blah summer colds

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Pic of the week lives!

I really thought I'd do this more often! Ah well. I've got an update post started but for now you get this. Yes, that's a sea gull. One of about five that were hanging out in a parking lot yesterday. In central Indiana. Yeah, I don't know why either.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Ouchies x 2

I never thought I would be so frustrated to not be able to exercise!  I was happy to find I'd still managed a modest 1.2 lbs loss last week, even with only three days of exercise before my back issues reared their ugly head.  On Friday, the pain was just as bad as Thursday, so I called in to work and went to the doctor.  No surprise, I was suffering from severe muscle spasms.  Apparently, a nerve in my back gets caught in the spasming muscles and that causes the sharp sudden pains.  Not fun.  I left with prescriptions for a five day course of steroids, plus a pain reliever/anti inflammatory, and a muscle relaxer.  I got home, took the medicines and spent the rest of the day sleeping.

Friday and Saturday were also our yard sale.  I wasn't much help on Friday, but I managed to help a little Saturday morning, taking money and giving out change.  By Sunday my back was feeling a little better, so I managed grocery shopping and a little bit of laundry, but mostly I rested.  It's still painful, particularly in the morning, but it's much better now.  I wish it was completely pain free, but unfortunately that is taking longer than I expected.  I am considering a short workout on my elliptical tonight to test the waters and see if the low impact exercise works and doesn't aggravate it.  I'm dying to get back on track, but I know I can't rush it and I don't want to make it worse.  We'll see how it goes.

I had to take Tyler to the doctor today.  He got what we thought was some sort of bug bit on Sunday night and it was looking nasty and his leg was really swollen.  The doctor thinks it was more likely a hornet sting!  Poor buddy!  He's going to be on an antibiotic just in case the swelling is indicative of an infection and it should be better in a few days.  Poor guy!  He was in a good mood though, talking the doctor's ear off!  I swear that child loves the sound of his own voice!  He runs around telling people anything and everything!  He went on and on about our yard sale and how we made lots of money for the fair.  And about his trip to the Children's Museum, which has to be six months ago!  LOL I love that little man!

Last, but not least on the updates!  We have a CRAWLER!!  AJ has been working on it for weeks now, rocking back and forth, lifting his hand but not quite putting the pieces together, but finally Sunday morning, with all of us watching, he crawled!  He's no pro at it, but I think he'll have it mastered pretty quickly!  He's getting so big, almost 10 months already!  I can't believe it!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

SetBACK and Photo challenge: Workspace

My Workspace
So that's it! Photo challenge finished!  Thanks Fat Mum Slim (Chantelle)!  I need a little break from the rigors of everyday posting, but I think I'll definitely join in on this monthly challenge again down the road!  Oh and readers, if you can spare a moment, go and vote for Chantelle and her amazing blog to be the most click-able woman of 2013!  She's awesome and she dreams of creating an app for her photo a day challenge, which would be epic!  Read about this here and click the link on the post to vote! :)

So there it is!  July in photos!

So I woke up this morning and about 10 minutes later, my back started hurting.  I'm not unfamiliar with the pain.  I have had a bad back for a long time, since back in my skating days.  I was once told that the cartilage between my bottom two vertebrae has been worn away. I've also been told I have had pinched nerves and muscle spasms.  I blame the latter for my current pain.  A couple of times a year, I'll have an "episode" where it hurts a LOT for a few days.  If it's not too bad, I wait it out. If it gets very bad I got to the doctor and am usually given an RX for anti inflammatories, steroids, and/or muscle relaxers.  Usually the pain goes away in a few days.  The worst it's ever been, I was putting on a pair of shorts one morning and ended up on the ground in pain.  That was on the day of my second interview at a job I had right after we got married.   That one sent me to the ER, AFTER I went to the interview.  On crutches.  Yes, I got the job.

That was the worst.  Today at times has been worse than that.  I made it to work okay.  I was very stiff, slow, and hunched over, but I made it.  If I sat still it wasn't horrible.  Advil seems to have no effect at all, but I took it nonetheless.  However, late morning I got up, walked to the restroom, stopped to talk to my coworker and it got much worse.  My back was spasming and the pain was not easing no matter what I did.  At one point bending over and resting my head on my desk helped a little and my boss found me in that position.  The pain got so bad I was trying not to cry.  

Thankfully it eased a little and I was able to get through the day.  But it is obvious I am not going to be able to exercise today.  Hopefully it will be better tomorrow and I can get back to business but I can't let this defeat me!  Missing a day or even a couple of days will not give me a reason to stop!

Now can someone hook me up with a good masseuse?  And cheap?