Monday, July 2, 2018


I'm sitting on a tiny bench in a love little oasis. A fountain in the pond burbles cheerfully. The sun is hot but a light breeze ruffles my hair. At my feet are flowers. In front of me is a birdbath. There are few toys scattered nearby.

It's a beautiful place, but it's a sad beauty.

The bench sits near the headstone commemorating too many babies gone to soon, including my Gabe. I find small comfort that I can visit this pretty place and do a tiny thing for the child I planned to do so much more for.

Two years ago you left us. I miss you, sweet baby boy.

Friday, February 2, 2018

Not Nine

He is not nine. Not my first baby.

But he is. It doesn't seem possible that I've been his mom for nine entire years. He loves to hear the story of when he was born, how it had snowed more that a foot and how we were up all night. Then when we dozed off and he started crying Adam and I had that moment where we realized we were really parents and we had to take care of this little human.

It's so awesome to watch him grow and change and develop. He's such a cool little person. He does great in school and chatters away about the smallest things. He makes friends easily. He's sensitive and sweet and funny. He loves computers and video games and anything technological. He is steadfast that he wants to be a YouTuber when he grows up. He is still a picky eater and still small for his age (something he is aware of and a little sensitive about). He is full of energy and fun!  He loves his little brother and always wants to be affectionate to him, even when AJ resists! He wants a little sister, which breaks my heart just a little!

He had a great birthday (I'm late posting this, of course. His birthday was January 28). Friday, I took a long lunch and drove down to have lunch with him at school. The school is about a 40 minute drive from work (since traffic wasn't an issue) but the look on his face when he was me made it well worth the time! He knew I was coming, of course, but boy was he excited!
Might have to zoom--Running to me with his arms out

Happy to see me--or the McDonalds I brought with me
Saturday we did our usual errands and let Tyler pick where we ate lunch. He chose Arni's because he loves their cheese fries. It poured rain all day, but that didn't stop us. Both boys needed new shoes, so we stopped at Target after lunch. AJ got yet another pair of Paw Patrol shoes (in a size 12!) and Tyler got his first pair of (SOB) big boy shoes in a size 1. I know most kids his age have probably passed this milestone before the age of 9, but not my little guy!
Posing with Target Dog (in their old shoes)

I spent the afternoon running around like mad trying to find his birthday gifts. I succeeded, but it took 7 stores and paying $15 more for one item than I would have paid if I'd ordered the darn thing online, but oh well!

Sunday was his actual birthday. I baked chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting (and letter candies and sprinkles, per Tyler). We let him pick dinner and he wanted to order pizza. He got two new games for his Nintendo Switch, a game for his DS (see above note about loving video games), plus Monopoly Pokemon (see note about paying $15 too much), a Minecraft hat, several game pieces for his Monopoly Gamer board game (which is actually a pretty fun game), and a gift card(that's from us, Michelle, Angie, and her finacee Jon). He was thrilled with everything, of course!


Wonder what he wished for? And AJ being cute even blurry.

All smiles

Opening said loot

The boys love their board games. We have at least 4 versions of Monopoly alone
 I could tell he felt special all weekend and loved every second of it and that just makes my heart melt! I just love these boys more than I could ever have imagined possible!!!

Oh, I must include a couple random AJ pictures...He's been going through a phase of skipping his nap (yes he still naps at 5 years old. Because he can and because he is cranky by 7:30 if he doesn't!  The kid also wakes up at like 5 am most days, which is annoying, but he just seems to have his own schedule)--anyway, he keeps falling asleep before bedtime. Photo evidence:

Fell asleep sitting up
Mid-bounce? Not really. He was actually pouting and fell asleep.
And so my baby turned nine. We aren't talking about what number comes next. I still have three hundred and fifty-odd days before I have to think of that. We are also not thinking about how I registered AJ for Kindergarten recently...

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Wrapping up a better year!

Wow I haven't blogged since September! This has been SUCH a busy year!  I think overall it kicked 2016's butt, but let's see what the survey says (sorry Family Feud is on TV).

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?  I officially became a published author!  #bucketlist #check

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn't make resolutions really. I feel like I accomplished a lot of things, especially with selling our old house, buying our new house, and getting my promotion at work.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My friend Pam had her baby boy, Corbin.

4. Did anyone close to you die? A few distant cousins.

5. What countries did you visit? I only went to Birmingham this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you didn’t have in 2017? I got some really major things I wanted this year! I would like to continue trying to become more financially stable (read: I'd like more money) and I'd like to get back to trying to be healthier

7. What dates from 2016 will be etched upon your memory, and why? February 14th when we got our book contract offer, July 13th when the book came out, and the day we closed on the houses

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year? The house, the book, and my promotion

9. What was your biggest failure?  Weight/healthwise.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?  Nothing major this year

11. What was the best thing you bought? Our house!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? The three biggies again: book, job, house

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Ugh, Donald Trump. (Some more)

14. Where did most of your money go? Bills and the house

15. What did you get really excited about? I'm actually looking for things to calm down a little. There has been a lot of excitement lately.

16. What song will always remind you of 2017? Nothing is really springing to mind. Anything from Carpool Karaoke, since I've been obsessed with that.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Happier, fatter, and about the same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? excercising

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Stressing out

20. How did you spend Christmas? The family was pretty sickly this year, so we stayed home all day in our PJs and had a very nice quiet day. We had a big breakfast and a salad/baked potato bar for lunch which was delish.

21. Did you fall in love in 2017? More and more every day with my husband and kids

22. What was your favorite TV program? Big Bang Theory, Dancing with the Stars, and The Little Couple

 23. What was the best book you read? I recently read An Abundance of Katherines by John Green and it was really great.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery? Carpool Karaoke

25. What did you want and get? Publish my book, promotion, new house!

26. What did you want and not get? I really got so much I wanted this year!

27. What was your favorite film of 2017? Pitch Perfect 3 which we saw last night was very funny, if corny

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 35. I don't remember doing anything in particular. I think I had to work.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? hmm. Maybe a vacation?

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2017 ? I'm still loving leggings and boots. Right now, whatever fits, is comfy and looks semi cute

31. What kept you sane? My hubby, my kids, my mom, my sisters, my family, my friends, and my coworkers! Talking and writing and laughing and music!

32. What political issue stirred you the most? Donald Trump is still president

33. Who did you miss? My sister, my grandparents and my great aunt and my little Gabriel.

 34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017.  Hard work and perseverance do pay off!

 35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Coming up empty here lol!

Friday, September 1, 2017

50 Questions You've Never Been Asked

I'm such a sucker for these questionnaire posts! Does that make me a narcissist? Taking this one from Risa at

01. What’s your favorite candle scent?
I'd have to say Black Cherry. I gravitate toward fruity/berry scents. Lately I've been loving Cinnamon as well. I'm not sure where that came from.

02. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
Emma Stone. I just think she is so funny and would be a blast to hang around with. Although her gorgeousness would probably give me a complex.
03. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
I can't imagine having a brother. Right now I'm going to say James Cordon. I've been binge-watching episodes of Carpool Kareoke and I would just love to drive around and sing with him. And his accent is adorable.

04. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?
Well, I got married when I was 22, which was younger than I'd thought I'd be.

05. Do you know a hoarder?
Not in the extreme sense, no.

06. Can you do the splits?
Ha. No.
07. How old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike?
I remember getting a "real" bike for my birthday when I was maybe 5? But I couldn't ride a two wheeler until I was probably 10.
08. How many oceans have you swam in?
Just one, the Atlantic when we honeymooned in the Bahamas!  I've only been to the ocean once and I can't even said I "swam". Mostly waded around and then rode a jet ski. It was beautiful and so clear, but I did wish I had watershoes, because it was super rocky to walk around in.

09. How many countries have you been to?
Just Canada (and the Bahamas)

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?
No. It's so admirable, but it was scare me to death.
11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?
Names are so hard for me. The plan when we had Tyler was a girl would have been Abigail. With AJ, we planned on Annabelle, I think? Right now I would pick neither of those. I'm quite partial to Hannah Rose, but I'm not sure I'd actually use it because I like names with nicknames.
12. What would you name your son if you had one?
I don't have another boys name in mind, really. Obviously we've chose Tyler, Alexander, and Gabriel.
13. What’s the worst grade you’ve got on a test?
I probably got at least 1 F on some quiz or test.
14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a kid?
Probably Full House

15. What did you dress up as for Halloween when you were 8?
Oh man, I don't really remember by year...I was a ballerina, a princess...I don't even remember very many of my costumes. The mind is going, I guess lol!

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?
Oh yes, I've read all three. Harry Potter was huge for me.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?
Oh British, I love it.
18. Did your mother go to college?
She actually got a college degree in accounting about 10 years ago, accomplishing something she'd always wanted to.

19. Are your grandparents still married?
Both sets of my grandparents have passed away and 3 out of 4 of Adam's Grandparents. All of them were married when the first of each couple passed though. My mom's parents were married more than 50 years when my Grandpa died.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
No, that's not something that appeals to me.
21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?
Child of the 80's, of course!
22. What was the first amusement park you went to?
I went to Santa Claus Land (Now Holiday World) when I was a tiny baby.
23. What language beside your native language would you like to be fluent in?
I took many years of French class, but never became fluent. I'd probably most like to be fluent in sign language, it facinates me.
24. Do you spell the color grey or gray?
Oh, I've probably done both!

25. Is your father bald?  
Nope, he's very white though. And in denial about it.


26. Do you know any triplets? 
I don't believe so. Lots of twins, though.

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?
I've actually never watched the Notebook. I probably should do that. Titanic is great though. I saw it on a date with a guy in high school and he left the theater to use the bathroom when Jack and Rose were still in the water. I knew our relationship was as doomed as Jack.
28. Have you ever had Indian food?
No. Too much spice for me, I think.
29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?
Texas Roadhouse. Yummy.
30. Have you ever been to Nandos?
I don't know what that is. Should I?

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, Bookers, etc.)?
No. We had a membership for one year and literally didn't use it once after the first time.

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
I was supposed to be a boy. They told my mom she was having boy/girl twins. I was going to be Alex.

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?
Liss, Lissy, Mel. Adam mostly calls me Babe.
34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?
Three way tie for my boys.

35. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?
Halfway in between. I don't want to live literally in a city, but not too far from convenience either. That's why I live in the 'burbs.

36. Can you whistle?
Sure. I can whistle when breathing in or out.
37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?
No. I like it pretty dark but not pitch black.

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?
Week days yes. I sometimes skip on the weekend.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?
Yes. I take medication for my lupus, along with a multivitamin and Vitamin D.

40. What medical conditions do you have?
Lupus, neutropenia (low white blood cell count), coloboma (eye)

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?
I've had I think 7 surgeries, but most of them were outpatient. Aside from being born, I've stayed in the hospital 3 times--when the boys were born and my appendectomy.

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
Of course!
43. Where do you buy your jeans?
Old Navy, usually.

44. What’s the last compliment you got?
My coworker said she liked my top today.
45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
If I do, it's usually because they are super strange or bad.

46. What flavor of tea do you enjoy?
I haven't tasted a lot of different types. I did have raspberry leaf tea when I was trying to get labor going with AJ and it was quite tasty.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?
A lot, but I don't really wear a lot of different ones. Probably about 8 pairs I wear regularly.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?
49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?
I don't remember a revelation of any kind, I just sort of knew.

50. Why do you have a blog?
I started one because Angie had one and it was funny. Over time it became a place to document things I want to remember, sort of a diary. No one reads, but I'm okay with that. It will help me remember things and I like that.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Updates and THE BOOK!!!

Life has been SOOOO busy! The book is coming out TOMORROW!  I can't believe it, it's so surreal!  The book is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Black Rose Writing NOW! We'll be going live on Facebook tomorrow at 8:00 pm EST to do a reading, talk about the book, answer questions, and do a giveaway of an autographed copy of the book!

Take cover! The book is here!

 So exciting! 

Live has been very busy! Time is short, so I'll stick to some photos for now!
AJ wasn't a big fan of the noise of fireworks, so he wore my headphones

On the one year anniversary of my miscarriage, I went to the cemetery and left a little rock with his name on it. <3

The boys have discovered sprinklers and water balloons. They're in love!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Book Cover Reveal!

Our book cover is here!

Our publisher was very patient with us--we went through several drafts! We are very happy with it! One month until release!!!

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Release Date and Pre-Order!!!!

It's really happening! 

The official release date for our book, On the Edge of My World is July 13, 2017! Even better, the book is available for Pre-Order from our publisher, Black Rose Writing NOW!

Just visit the link below to order. Use promocode PREORDER2017 to get 10% off. Copies will be shipped on or before the release date.

I'm an author! *mind blown*