Monday, April 30, 2012

Time flies...sometimes!

17 weeks pregnant!  In some ways I can't believe that!  My pregnancy is almost half over.  This week baby is the size of an onion (you missed lemon in week 15 and avocado last week).  I still don't feel anything in there and I'm starting to get really anxious for a few of those fun little flutters!

I saw my doctor last week and everything is good.  She found the baby's heartbeat right away this time, hanging out around my belly button.  She also scheduled me for the BIG ultrasound on May 18th.  Time is NOT flying to that date!

Also speaking of time flying...I am 30 years old today.  That's sort of mind-blowing.  I don't have big hang ups about 30, but it is something of a milestone.  In a lot of ways, I am where I want to be.

One more thing....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWIN!!!!  Thanks for sharing your bday with me, since I shared mom's uterus with you!  Love you much!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Fear and Faith

Although sources vary on when the first trimester ends, they all seem to agree that by week 14, you're 1/3rd done with pregnancy and into your second trimester.  Chances of miscarriage decrease dramatically after the first trimester.

So imagine my shock and fear when at 13.5 weeks pregnant, I went to the bathroom and saw blood.  I was in complete disbelief for a moment.  Any pregnant woman will tell you that she unabashedly checks the TP each and every frequent time she uses the bathroom.  But we are never prepared to see that. 

I was preparing to leave work on Thursday, the day before a day off of work for Good Friday.  A friend had called while I was packing up, so I was chatting, but I knew I needed to make a pit stop before I left, so I asked her to hold on, pressed the mute button, and took care of business.  When I saw the blood, my heart dropped.  13 weeks is supposed to be safe.  I had just caught myself saying I was relieved to be past the worst of the risk.  It wasn't a lot but it was blood.  I unmuted my friend and shakily told her what was going on.  She reminded me that bleeding can be really common during pregnancy, and don't freak out, and call her back as soon as I knew anything. 

I hung up and dialed my doctor.  The receptionist got a nurse for me (God love them for not making me leave a message!!) and she repeated what my friend had said, that it's common but they definitely wanted to be sure everything was okay.  I told her that on the ultrasound earlier in the week, they'd seen a fibroid.  She checked my chart and luckily the report was already there.  She reviewed their notes and confirmed that they did note a 5 cm fibroid--which is not small.  She said she wanted to talk to my OB and either she or the doctor would call back soon.

I sat trembling in my car, unsure of what to do. My husband was supposed to work until 5:00 and it was just after 4:00.  I decided I couldn't wait, so I started driving to his work, about 10 minutes away, while I dialed him on my phone.  I tearfully told him what happened and he said to come over and he'd leave as soon as he could.  I then called my mom to fill her in and let her know that if the OB called the house, to have them call my cell. 

I got to my husband's work and went in to use their bathroom.  The bleeding was already just brown, old blood (sorry tmi).  I went back to the car to wait for Adam.  The doctor's office called back.  The nurse told me she'd talked to my doctor and they wanted me to go home, put my feet up, rest and drink plenty of water.  She said they wanted me to come in the next morning to check for the baby's heartbeat.

I followed the instructions.  I went home, lay on the couch with my feet up, drank water, and tried not to panic.  It was a long night.

The next morning, my mom, Tyler, and I all headed to the doctor.  Once we got in to see the doctor, she talked it over a bit with us and then took out the dopplar.  She poked and pushed and wandered about, but we just kept finding my slower heartbeat.  Every few minutes she'd murmur, "Don't panic, it's hard to find when you're this early." I would nod, breathing deeply and sometimes closing my eyes for a few second, my lips mouthing "Come on baby."

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she heard a quick flash of fast fluttering.  "There it was," she said, trying to get it back. I held my breath, telling myself we couldn't have all imagined it.  Finally, she zeroed in and there it was, a fast, steady thrumming of life.  And then I started crying, my stomach jumping as I tried not to sob.  The doctor waited to get a good count on the heart rate (155-165) and helped me wipe of the goo.  I looked at my mom and she was crying too.  Tyler was over the whole thing LOL.  He didn't like the sound of the dopplar and he was anxious to leave.

The doctor went on to say that the bleeding might be from the fibroid or from a low lying placenta.  She did and exam and everything seemed fine, no new blood.  They'll take a look at the fibroid at my next ultrasound, since sometimes they think there is a fibroid but really it's just a muscle contracting.  She said my uterus was measuring about 16 weeks, 2.5 weeks further along that I was.  She said that might just be because it's my second child, or it could be the fibroid.

So she sent me home, telling me to really take it easy for the weekend.  We had to cancel several planned outings.  No more lifting Tyler, and I am supposed to be careful about activity for awhile.  It was challenging, staying home while Adam took Tyler to an Easter Egg Hunt and sitting on the patio while he played ball in the yard.  But we do what we have to for our kids.  I sat on the couch a lot and tried not to obsess over what I wasn't doing LOL

So me and little one are doing fine.  He or she is the size of a lemon this week!  Six weeks or so and we can find out what we are having!  It was a scary weekend, but I'm very thankful it turned out okay.  I found myself watching shows on TV that really helped me have faith that everything will work out.  I watched an episode of 19 Kids and Counting, when the Duggar's doctor couldn't find a heartbeat on their 20th baby at a check up around 12-13 weeks.  They immediately started praying, but they prayed that God would help them accept His will, whatever it was.  They then got an ultrasound and found their baby was fine.  Sadly, six weeks later, they had an ultrasound and found that their baby had indeed passed.  I watched both episodes, desperately sad for their loss and inspired by their incredibly strong faith. I can only hope I was be so accepting if the worst did happen.

Last night I watched the Lifetime movie "Amish Grace".  It is a fictional movie based on the murder of a group of Amish girls at a school.  Again I was inspired by the faith describe and displayed in the movie.  It really helped me find a little bit of peace in the unknown future of my precious baby.

I love my baby already.  We tried so long to conceive.  But somehow I still manage to ask God to be with us and keep us safe, but also to help me to accept whatever happens.  And I know that is prayer that will be answered.  I have a lot of faith that my little one is going to be just fine and I will hold him or her in my arms in just a few months.  It seems incredible to imagine!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Peach in the Tunnel

Today was my first trimester screening and ultrasound!  Everything is looking really good!  The baby was wiggling and didn't really want to cooperate and let the tech get the pictures she needed at first!  We got what we needed in the end and everything looks normal.  I have a fibroid in my uterus, but the tech didn't seem to concerned, I guess they aren't usually a problem.  The heartbeat was 150 bpm.  Baby wouldn't give us any clues as to gender and the placenta is in the middle in the front--Anterior AGAIN--so that doesn't give us any clue either!  We'll have to wait patiently!

Baby is the size of a peach this week!  It looked bigger on the screen, really, but okay!

I sent my mom the pictures and she showed them to Tyler, who promptly announced that "Baby Whiff (his nickname for the baby) is in a tunnel!"  Looking at the pictures, I guess it could kind of look like a tunnel!  LOL

And now for pictures!! 

Freaky pic!

Monday, April 2, 2012

My Little Plum!

I wrote this last week but I couldn't publish it at the time, so here it is, a little late.  Ultrasound to come tomorrow!

So I am now 12 weeks, 3 days pregnant!  Baby is the size of a plum!  Crazy!  Everything is going well!  I saw a new OB this week (did I mention that the first one was awful?) and I love her!  Everyone in the office was friendly and joking and kind!  I'm relieved to have that figured out!  All my test results came back fine and I'm measuring just right.  I've lost a pound so far--as opposed to the 20 lbs I lost during the first few months I was pregnant with Tyler!  She used the dopplar and after a few minutes of struggle she found the baby's heartbeat!  It was so fun to hear it!  She couldn't get a good BPM count, because the placenta's bloodflow and my heartbeat were interfering, but she said it was nice and fast! :)

Next Tuesday I am going for my first trimester screening.  I'll have more bloodwork and an ultrasound. I can't wait to see my little gummy bear on screen, looking like a real baby instead of a blob!

I'm still feeling pretty good, aside from a little more nausea these days!  I went on a business trip to Birmingham, AL a few weeks ago and that was around the time that my stomach started acting up.  It's not horrible, just bothersome!  Food aversions are pretty strong, similar to with Tyler.  I don't love a lot of meat, although I'm still able to eat some.  Very few things actually sound good, aside from junk food!  LOL  The last few weeks have been pretty tiring, first with my trip, then I got sick :-P, and now...well I'm not sure why I'm so tired this week!  I stopped taking my progesterone supplement this week, and I was hoping some of the fatigue would go with it!  Fatigue is a big side effect of the medication.  So far, no luck there!  I still have some congestion from being sick last week, so I'm hoping in a few more days that'll go away and my stomach might ease up a bit.  In the meantime, I'm missing most of my television shows because I fall asleep on the couch in the evenings!

Next time I post I should have pictures to share!! :)

Oh and I have a brand new niece!!!  Elizabeth Grace was born on March 17th, a St. Paddy's Day baby!  She is gorgeous!  I hope she and her new little cousin-to-be will be as close as Tyler and Toby are! :)