Monday, April 16, 2007

GRRRR

Dear old lady in front of my car,
You seem to be following me. Just last week I was caught behind you on a stretch of road clear on the south side of town! And today there you were, puttering just ahead of me, going 25 in a 40. At first I didn't recognize you--you were wearing a hat, which fooled me into thinking you were a very short man. But no, it was you with your clunky car and your tell-tale handicap license plate. I am sure you are a very nice lady. I'm sure your grandchildren and your great-grandchildren adore you. I am sure you bake wonderful cookies. But I have to tell you...

YOU SUCK! YOU CANNOT DRIVE! AND WHEN I CAN FINALLY GET AROUND YOU, YOU CAN'T QUITE DECIDE WHICH LANE IS BEST! AND ONCE YOU DO YOU HAVE TO REACH UP (YES UP) TO REACH THE TURN SIGNAL TO TELL ME THAT IN ABOUT A MILE YOU JUST MIGHT MOVE OVER!!!

Anyone have any connections to the BMV? Who can I talk to? I mean, I wasn't legally allowed to drive by myself until I was 16. Why isn't there a maximum age? I'm not asking too much, just that the person you are giving a license to is less than 80 years old and more than 4 feet tall (excluding little people, who have come up with some great ways to allow them to see over the wheel and reach the pedals at the same time, even though shrinking old people refuse to use them to thier advantange)

If I get stuck behind one more old fart, I just might...I don't know...write another ranting that no one will read.

And another thing. Semis. I happen to work in an industrial area. So I am forever getting stuck behind semis. On one lane roads. For miles and miles. It's a part of working where I work. But when the damn semi sees me coming, less than 1/4 mile away and swings out right in front of me, causing me to slam on my breaks in order to not discover what is underneath a semi truck, I no likey. And I have rights to say this. My father drives a semi. And not particularly well, I must add. He tends to hit things and speed. In a semi that probably weights several tons. He even took a 14 foot trailer under a 12 foot bridge once. Or attempted too, actually. I've riden with him, I know how long it takes for a semi to get up to speed. So you would think they could exercise a little restraint. Especially WHEN THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO ONE BEHIND ME AND HE TOTALLY COULD WAIT UNTIL I PASS BEFORE PULLING HIS ANNOYINGLY LARGE ASS ONTO THE ROAD.

*end rant*

2 comments:

notanillusion said...

SISSY! What a great rant! I am so proud. :)

might be an illusion said...

Thanks! *blush*