Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Blog Challenge Day 19: Adoption

What is your advice for parenting an adopted child?

Wow...Well, I don't really feel qualified to give advice on this subject, since I'm neither adopted nor have I adopted a child.   I guess I'd give much the same advice as I would to any parent, although I'd add advice to be as open and honest with the child about where he or she comes from as possible.  Try to gain some insight on their birth family or (in cases of international adoption) where they were born.  Presenting it as a situation where "you were chosen" and "your birth family gave us such a gift and allowed you to have a better life" is how I would try to do it in that situation.  I would support and encourage them if their child ever decided to reach out to their birth families.  I was friends with a coworker that was adopting an infant a few years ago and we threw her a baby shower as if she was pregnant and helped out after the birth, just like we would have if she hadn't adopted her child.  My dear friend was adopted by her biological aunt and uncle and met her birth mother in high school.  Both situations produced amazing, well adjusted people.

This is part of a June blog challenge started by Mommy Someday at Waiting for Baby. Pop over there and join in so I can learn these things about you!


mommy someday said...

Great advice! Though I wonder about that whole "give you a better life" thing though - do you think it sounds judgey? I remember reading adoption advice for advertising to a birth mom and it said not to say that because it's kind of mean (even if true). Know what I mean?

S.I.F. said...

I think even has an adoptive parent, that is a hard question to answer! We all want to do it "right", but sometimes finding that "right" isn't always black and white!